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Thanksgiving Kiddie Table Etiquette

It’s interesting how, over the course of a life, sitting at the Thanksgiving “kiddie table” can go from being an insult to an honor.

As a young kid, you probably didn’t care. You had your juice cup, your precut Turkey Day assortment and you were surrounded by likeminded company. As you grew older, though, you started to suspect that maybe you were getting a raw deal …

Now that you’re an adult, however, maybe you're among those who appreciate the inherent benefits of such a simple and uncomplicated arrangement.

Kiddie Table Angst (Ages 8 to 17)

This is the time when you think you’re better than all that. They’re just kids. The table has folding legs, the chairs are plastic and no one has any clue about … anything. They can’t see (or worse, don’t care) that you really do have great ideas about everything, and they don't even have the courtesy to shut up for two seconds to notice how cool you are!

Internal Monologue: These stupid kids are so ... stupid! And mom confiscated my smartphone! Thanksgiving? Hah! Thanks for nothin', losers!

Kiddie Table Monitor (Ages 18 to 24)

You’re going to change the world, and it’s all going to start right here. You need to show the adults that you’re mature enough to accept responsibility and can keep these kids in line. You've grown up; learned a thing or two. You’ve attained enough height to assume some authority and you control the juice and cookie supply chain, which makes you the unofficial ruler of Munchkinland. Yeah, buddy.

Internal Monologue: Look at me! Fear me! Adore me! I am in college and am very well-informed!

Kiddie Table Refugee (Ages 25 to 34)  

This is the stage at which you would rather talk about dinosaurs than real life, because the latter is too full of debt and broken promises to make for good holiday conversation. What’s more, you don’t have to answer any adult inquiries here. The most probing question at the kiddie table is whether you think the green bean casserole is yucky.

Internal Monologue: Enjoy the handouts while you can, my innocent darlings. Thanksgiving? There are no free lunches in the REAL WORLD. 

Kiddie Table Volunteer (Ages 35+)

Eventually, you get to a point where you hope you’re invited to the kiddie table. You spend plenty of time with adults as it is and kids are just more fun. They have energy and vitality, and they share an abiding distrust of anything lacking sugar. This, you find, is where you always belonged, even if you forgot it somewhere along the road.

Internal Monologue: Ah, to be a kid. Love!!

ATGStores.com hopes your time at the Thanksgiving kiddie table is a warm and welcome adventure.

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